a journey in the unknown
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Empowering the Tantric Mahamudra requires more love making time. Making love for longer periods of time requires reducing tension. Reducing stress and tension requires transformation. Transformation during sex requires intentions that are different then the ordinary ones.
So there is some preliminary work that needs to be done to empower the Tantric Mahamudra. Meaning, that the experience of Mahamudra combined with the possibilities of making love are able to have larger and larger possibilities of fulfilling the incredible potentials that the Tantric Mahamudra has.
Most of this preliminary work is about time. The primary difference, between normal tension release sex and what we might call energy sex or Tantric sex is simply the amount of time spent in actually making love.
According to statistical studies and many opinions, people in general make love once a week for 20 minutes or so. If you consider a little bit of foreplay and a little bit of afterglow the actual amount of time that a man’s penis and a woman’s yoni are together is probably less than 10 minutes a week. We could say that the sexual energy is “up" for 10 to 15 minutes per week for people in general. There is one study that I saw, in Turkey I think, where they were very happy that they increased the amount of time from 9 minutes to 11 minutes.
In contrast, couples who practice energy sex or Tantric sex often have the energy up every day for a half-hour or an hour or two hours or more. If we count the minutes this means that for ordinary sex the energy is up for 10-15 minutes per week and for Tantric sex the energy could be up for 400-500 minutes per week. Of course, this is a very big difference and it takes much transformational work to be able to make love for this amount of time.
The process of building the sexual energy to higher levels means that having some new intentions are necessary. For men these intentions are primarily about ejaculation control but for both men and women we could call them orgasm intentions.
In ordinary sex the normal orgasm intention is simply to have an orgasm and usually the quicker the better. Orgasm becomes a goal. In energy or Tantric sex orgasms are not the goal. Making love is the goal and the longer the better. Also, the higher the energy level or sexual energy intensity the better. What higher energy level means is simply more ecstasy and joy, more pleasure and more sharing with your partner.
So, in general, energy sex is about a higher quality of sexual experience and higher quantity of time to empower the higher quality. Ordinary or normal sex is about release of tension.
These two ways of having sex, energy sex and normal sex, are actually facilitated and regulated by two different nervous systems. You can look it up. The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) regulates ejaculation and the parasympathetic nervous system (PSNS) regulates erection. It is the same in woman although, or course, less obvious.
SO how long does ejaculation (normal orgasm) last? A few seconds? And how long can erection last? Hours?
Additionally, the SNS is the flight or fight mechanism. So this tells us a little bit about ordinary sex. It tells us that ordinary sex is fundamentally about preservation of the species. And so then it is easy to understand why it only takes a few minutes.
In contrast, energy sex that uses the PSNS and that can last for hours is about loving, making love, sharing intimacy and all the beautiful things that sex is capable of when it is empowered to create those beautiful things.
Sexual excitement, in general, has more or less tension that is pressing for release. The normal orgasm releases this tension. In Tantric lovemaking, sexual excitement has relatively low tension. This is because the partners have learned how to transform tension into the movement of energy. Then, the sexual excitement is felt more as a continuous flow of pleasure. You feel good even if you don’t have a normal or genital orgasm because the body carries this flow of pleasure and sexual excitement in a new way without tension. And this flow of pleasure and sexual excitement is felt everywhere, kind of like a whole body sexual charisma.
Changing the body to permit this new experience is a basic part of the overall transformation process that results from the intention work, the emotional clearing work and the inner guidance practices. Without these changes in the body longer love-making produces greater tension and greater discomfort and in many cases, particularly with men, not having an orgasm or not ejaculating creates pain which they do not know how to handle. So then the additional fear of this pain creates even more tension and even shorter lovemaking.
Having different orgasm intentions other than the normal goal-oriented ones allows the sexual energy to be used as part of the transformation process.
Normally making love ends when the man has an ejaculation. He loses his erection and the energy goes “down." Sometimes the woman has an orgasm and sometimes not.
As an interesting side note the energy can go “down" when a woman has an orgasm also even though the man has not had an orgasm. Energy sex is very different since the love making ends for different reasons other than just the man having an ejaculation. In other words the energy goes “down" for different reasons.
In normal sex we could say that orgasm intentions are maybe just a function of simple sexual tension. Sexual excitement is mostly felt as tension that wants to be released. The feeling is one of being “horny" and wanting to “come." The idea that there are alternatives or different ways to make love does not usually occur to people in general.
There are very many things said and written about orgasms. But what I would like to do is put them into two simple categories.
The first category is orgasms that “drop the energy" and usually end love-making. And, the second category is orgasms that do not drop the energy or rather where the energy is sustained, meaning the sexual energy stays “up."
More specifically, when a man has an orgasm that drops the energy he loses his erection. When a woman has an orgasm that drops the energy she begins to get dry and her yoni begins to close up. In both cases the sexual excitement and feelings become less and the tension is released and gone.
With orgasms that do not drop the energy, the man maintains his erection, the woman maintains being wet and open and the sexual excitement and feelings continue. With this kind of orgasm it is possible to continue making love and so you simply keep going.
What DOES decrease however, is the sexual tension. And, this process of continuing to make love while at the same time having low sexual tension is what makes energy/Tantric sex so much more wonderful then ordinary sex. Also, the idea of multiple orgasms for both men and women is simply the process of having orgasms that do not drop the energy.
So if we begin to talk about what the new orgasm intentions will be then the first orgasm intention is the answer to your own personal question: Which kind of orgasm do I want?
The answer could be one kind or the other kind or neither or both. And, of course, this may change and it may change very spontaneously at any time!
What I will be mostly talking about are the orgasms that do not drop the energy.
What this means in real practical terms is how to become more aware of, and then how to work with, the sexual excitement as it causes tension. The tension is what makes you want to go faster, or go harder or “push" or tighten muscles to have the release.
As an example for men, there is both the desire to ejaculate and the tension to ejaculate. These are two different things. Usually, in the beginning, there is little awareness of the difference between the two. But, as you become more experienced, this changes.
In the beginning the desire to ejaculate and the tension to ejaculate feel like the same thing and so making love becomes goal-oriented and this creates ordinary sex. With Tantric sex a man may feel the tension to ejaculate but may want to continue making love longer and so not have the desire to ejaculate. This is what creates making love as a process rather than having ejaculation as a goal.
These two different feelings of the desire to have an orgasm and the tension to have an orgasm are much the same with women. The difference with woman is that the sexual pleasure energy must be brought “upward" to sustain the love making. After both men and women have had some experience and can feel the difference between the desire and the tension then they can set the new intention to have orgasms that do not drop the energy.
It is important to note that the basic idea is the same whether you are making love with a partner or making love with yourself. One of the important things that we have found is that if a relationship is having trouble getting in touch with sexual desire then it is very possible that one or both persons are having more energy dropping orgasms alone then is best for the relationship.
In other words they are masturbating or making love by themselves and having energy dropping orgasms to release tension instead of taking the sexual excitement back into the relationship. There are, of course, no rules about this but there is a balance or a truth about how much or how little will best empower the relationship.
So, the second orgasm intention is to find new and different ways to release the sexual tension other then orgasms that drop the energy.
Please don’t form the impression that energy-dropping orgasms are bad or wrong or somehow less than the others. One of the best ways to have an energy-dropping orgasm is when a huge emotional release happens at the same time. Women often experience intense crying associated with energy-dropping orgasms. Fear and even anger can be released also. And, of course, this applies equally to men although, in general, the men have a much more difficult time giving themselves permission to express these strong emotions during sex..
This is really at the heart of the matter. One of the most powerful ways to reduce the body tension that comes with the sexual excitement is through emotional clearing. We might even go so far as to say that emotional clearing is the way to transform orgasms from energy-dropping ones into energy-sustaining ones. And of course, the great increase in love and intimacy from such sharing is extraordinary.
So the third orgasm intention is to give more and more permission to express more and more emotions as a direct way to release the tension and have more and more energy-sustaining orgasms.
The fourth orgasm intention is for simple muscle relaxation.
This means finding tense muscles and consciously relaxing them. This does not necessarily mean decreasing physical movement but instead trying to find new ways to move the body so that there is a flowing with the sexual energy rather than trying to push the sexual feelings into an orgasm.
This is the place where Inner Guidance through Mahamudra becomes virtually a requirement. Inner Guidance using Mahamudra while making love will show you exactly how to move your body for this purpose. Mahamudra can show you how to move your body and relax the muscles so the sexual energy can be felt as more pleasure and less as tension.
The fifth orgasm intention is to ask yourself the question: “How many energy-dropping orgasms do I want to have?"
And this is the most important intention. As an example for me personally, my intention is to make love each day but have only one ejaculation every few weeks. Six weeks or two months is not unusual. Tantric or energy sex happens often and lasts long actually assists in reducing the overall tension so that having ejaculations so rarely is not only possible , it becomes normal and gets easier.
Some of my partners have the intention to have as few energy-dropping orgasms as possible. This process of limiting the energy-dropping orgasms but at the same time increasing the length of time that you are making love is how you build to higher levels of sexual pleasure and quality.
This is also what allows “multidimensional experiences." In this process, working to reduce the tension and transform it into emotional clearing and emotional sharing with your partner is what transforms your body so that it can experience the higher levels of pleasure and quality and be available for larger spiritual or multidimensional awareness. This process also creates wonderful increases in intimacy, satisfaction, love and unity in your relationship.
It also has a direct, wonderful effect on all of your other intentions in life, including health. As you become happier, more ecstatic and satisfied sexually you will become more successful, joyful and happy in all areas of life.
As you begin to limit your energy-dropping orgasms the energy in your body will build. This will bring up feelings, emotions, muscle pain and, of course, more tension. The basic idea is to use this tension for emotional clearing, sharing, realizations, setting new intentions and building a stronger connection to inner guidance.
This is how the higher sexual energy directly relates to joy, personal empowerment and spiritual growth. And this is why my own personal definition of Tantra is: To use sexual energy for personal development and spiritual evolution.
Thanks for listening.